Dear Diary: Feeling Smug at the Pediatric Dentist

Dear Diary,

Took the girls to their pediatric dentist appointment and totally walked in feeling pretty smug. I mean, my kids are brushing their teeth consistently, (finally), they flossed the night before, there were absolutely no concerns or worries from the first dentist visit, and the girls were actually really excited to go! This is gonna be a breeze.

The 5 year old went first-

“Wow everything looks great! Let’s take some quick X-rays; teeth are looking good, some minor issues with the front teeth roots from the trauma last year but overall everything is fine. Keep up the good work!” I internally pat myself on the back, just as I expected.

The 3 year old hops in the chair. Does an EXCELLENT job during the cleaning, in fact she was so relaxed I thought she fell asleep. Dentist takes a look and starts spouting off weird words while the hygienist writes notes. I’m not really paying attention. Then he says to me, “let’s talk about these measurements.” Sure sure, okay.

He starts telling me how the front teeth are overlapping incorrectly, the palate is a V shape not a U shape, blah blah blah. Of course I’m smiling and nodding like I understand what he’s talking about. Then it clicks. My internal dialogue goes something like this: “Oh fuck. No sir, ooooh no sir, you’re supposed to have my back! I’ve been telling everyone the dentist says it’s fine! I’m not ready! This job is hard enough! She’s terrifying when she can’t find it, I can’t handle this right now! Fuck fuck fuck.”

Then he says it: “She needs to lose the pacifier.”

My external response: “Oh yeah, I know, it’s been on my radar especially since she’s starting preschool soon. No problem, thanks so much!”

My internal response: “You fucking monster”

Gotta go. I need to Google dropping the pacifier horror stories to help me prepare.

Love,

Della