Dear Diary: Mind Your Own Motherhood

Dear Diary,

It’s honestly baffling to me when people feel the need to critique my 3 year old’s pacifier use. All. The. Time. And to my face! Like… is this so-called “problem” making you lose sleep at night? Why is it that important to you? Don’t you have enough things of your own to worry about?

The comments come in all shapes and tones sometimes it’s a joke at the grocery store checkout, sometimes it’s a relative with “helpful advice,” and sometimes it’s another parent giving me that look usually with a quick snide comment. I’ve learned to keep my cool (most of the time), but inside I’m screaming: mind your own motherhood.

I recently heard that exact phrase “Mind Your Own Motherhood” and I am HERE for it. Seriously, can we get it on a bumper sticker, a mug, and maybe a neon sign?

Anyways, my go to response is always the same:

“Her dentist has no concerns. In fact, he said it’s better than the thumb. You can’t lose a thumb.” If they keep pressing, I pull out the pediatrician card:

“My pediatrician is not concerned either. Her speech is excellent it is actually advanced for her age.”

End of conversation.

But here’s the thing: it’s not just about the pacifier. I don’t understand the energy it must take to insert yourself into someone else’s parenting choices with an opinion that has no impact on you. Motherhood already comes with enough second guessing, enough worries, enough invisible weight we carry. The last thing we need is strangers (or family, or friends!) piling on with unnecessary judgment.

And it’s not just comments about today; it’s the constant projection into the future. “Just wait until she’s older…” “That’s going to be a problem later…” “You’ll regret letting her do that.” These little fear bombs don’t help. They don’t make me a better mom. They just create anxiety about things that may or may not even happen.

Here’s my idea: stop projecting fear into the future, and just… mind your own motherhood. Take care of your family the best way you know how. I’ll do the same.

Sound good? K thanks bye.

Love,

Della