Dear Diary: My 5 Year Old Can Read My Mind

My 5 Year Old Can Read My Mind

Dear Diary, 

We are in the car as a family when the five year-old suddenly says: "Did you know you're not supposed to say bad words?" (Lately she is constantly spouting off these did you know facts? Apparently she knows a whole lot more about life than I do)

I respond, "Well, what kind of words are bad words?" And she says , "oh you know poop, butt, things like that." I am a little surprised by her answer, maybe a bit disappointed too. (have I taught you nothing, child?) But I say something along the lines of "oh yeah, some people might not like those words. I don't really care if you say them but thanks for letting me know."

After that, she's quiet for a solid three or five minutes. Then I hear:

"Another bad word would be fuck. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck."

The husband, who is driving, does this weird little cough choke thing to stop himself from laughing. And then he says "oh really and where did you hear those words?"

"Mommy."

OK Diary, I know what you're thinking but here's the deal. I have absolutely said that phrase in my head, I can hear it very eloquently. However, I have a highly curated slew of profanity that I say out loud on the regular. I tried saying fuck fuck fuckity fuck out loud and it just does not feel familiar!  It's not something that rolls off of my tongue comfortably. I am positive I have never said it aloud, I have of course thought it at very appropriate moments only. 

In this case there is only one very reasonable and perfectly logical explanation:

The five year old can read my mind. 

Well, fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

Love,

Della