5 Ways Being a Dance Instructor Helps Me Parent

Dear Friend,

I have been a dancer for over three decades, I’ve been teaching dance for nearly two decades. I’ve learned and taught plenty about pliés, pirouettes, and putting on a production. At this point in my life I am noticing some of the most important lessons I've learned from dancing, teaching and performing have shown up not just on the stage but in my parenting.  At first, I thought my job was simply to teach steps: pliés, chassés, ballet runs across the floor. But as I've grown older, and then became a mom, I realized something deeper: I wasn’t just teaching movement, I was teaching patience, resilience, and joy.

I didn’t know it at first, but those lessons have become the foundation of how I parent my own children today. Here are 5 ways I've realized how being a dance instructor has helped me parent:

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1. Patience is a Practice

Teaching little one's 1st position, plies, sautes, (or even just how to stand in a line!) takes patience. That same patience helps me breathe through the big feelings, explain for the 50th time (in one day) why we brush our teeth, and remember that kids learn in tiny steps, not giant leaps. 

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2. Encouragement Over Criticism

In class, I know that applause motivates far more than criticizing every single thing they did wrong. Because let's be real, do you really want to try something again when someone says you didn't do it right? Especially in front of your friends?

At home, I try to cheer my kids on in the same way. “I can see how hard you’re trying” lands so much better than “You’re doing it wrong.”

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3. Routines Help Create Balance

Every dance class I teach follows the same structure: warm up, center, across the floor, free movement, reverence, stickers. That predictability helps kids feel safe, loved and creates a smooth flow. I notice parenting also works more smoothly when we have created expectations through consistent bedtime routines, morning rituals, snacks waiting in the car for after school pick up.  Not just for the kids, but for me and the hubby too!

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4. Every Child Is Unique

I’ve seen so many shy dancers come out of their shell, and the wild often hard to teach  dancers find focus. Each find their way differently, when they're ready, as long as they feel safe and are allowed to be themselves. It reminds me that my own kids don’t need to fit anyone else’s pace. Their growth will look like them, and that’s exactly how it should be.

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5. Joy Is Everything

In the studio, we celebrate the fun: twirling with scarves, jumping out of the hot lava, silly stretching, loudly singing and dancing our hearts out. At home, I try to remember it’s not always about “teaching a lesson.” Usually it’s about joining the joy.

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It's pretty cool to look back and see that being a dance instructor hasn't just been about teaching other people’s children. I love how it has quietly prepared me for being a parent of my own. The patience, encouragement, structure, acceptance, and joy I practice in the studio has become tools I lean on as a mom. Spending most of my life in the studio has taught me steps and sequences, but parenting is teaching me that the real choreography is in love, patience, and presence.

And do you know what the most important performance of all has been?

It’s the everyday performance of raising my own tiny, incredible humans.

Love,

Della