Dear Diary: Helping My 5 Year Old Sleep In Her Own Room

Helping My 5 Year Old Sleep In Her Own Room

Dear Diary,

There are a lot of milestones happening in my home and I'm not sure I'm fully ready: one kid just starting kindergarten, one kid starting preschool, one is dropping the paci and now I'm trying to help my 5 year old sleep in her own bed, in her own room.

She and I have bed shared on and off since she was a few months old. I love it, and then I hate it, and then I love it again and so on. But it's always worked itself out organically and I've never felt the need to do anything about it. Now though, the husband and I are worried about her not getting enough sleep based on some signs her body has been giving, especially later in the day during some of her favorite activities. AND, the husband and I have been lucky to have a conversation or any uninterupted time together for about 15 minutes a day, tops.

Every time I brought up going to her own room for sleep it didn't go well, and I felt horrible for even suggesting it. Finally, I told her if she could fall asleep in her own room 3 nights in a row, she could pick out any new stuffed animal friend she wanted. This actually worked, she was all in. I did add the caveat that if after those three days she didn't stay in her room her new friend would be captured and held in a safe location until she sleeps in her room for 3 more days in a row. (she thought this meant I'd give it away to another kid, which really horrified her... I may or may not have reassured her otherwise. 😏 )

The first night was hard for her. It was even harder on me. I did not see this coming.

I went to bed and just laid there sobbing. I tried talking it out with the husband. I'm a monster, I'm failing her, I'm selfish....My little girl is about to be going to kindergarten! I am going from seeing her nearly every moment of the day, and snuggling with her every night, to barely seeing her during the week due to my own teaching schedule. I couldn't fall asleep, the bed felt empty even though the husband was in bed with me as well as 4 dogs, 3 of which are fairly large. (Thanks to pet sitting)

Next thing I know, the 5 year old is back in bed with me. Her sweet little face pressing up against mine, her hand entwined in my hand. I told her it was okay, thinking to myself that we'll figure this out eventually. My heart felt so much better.

She starts squirming around, and then looks at the husband and says "Daddy get out of here, this is mine and mommy's bed". I told her "Nope, that's rude. Daddy is staying, but I'll switch spots with you so you're not squished in between us."

She.Would.Not.Stop.Squirming. But I am finally getting tired so I just try to ignore it. Then she starts fussing that the dogs are squishing her. I shuffle the dogs around, and finally start to nod off. Next thing I know she's shaking me and says "Mommy, is it okay if I go back to my bed? I want to sleep in my own room actually"

I'm pretty sure she meant "fuck your feelings mom".

It's now been over a week, she's got her new friend, she's sleeping the whole night in her own room, the husband and I have been having conversations again AND we've started watching a new show on Prime.

What a rollercoaster, Diary.

Love,

Della